hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
