Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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