Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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