so that wasnt chicken after all
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
