his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Is Oprah even human
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
