did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
