I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I haven't been this sober since birth.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
