'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
