I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
