Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
