drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
