I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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