she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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