How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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