I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
