why didn't you poke me back
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
