Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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