Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
