people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
