if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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