he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
