so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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