Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
40s are totally the cure
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
