Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
