it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
How does one acquire holy water?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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