I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
