plz talk dirty to me
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
