I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
