whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
