Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We have started to decorate penises.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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