She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
