he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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