she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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