I just made out with a guy for $7.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
