Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
