they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
