I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
