Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
