Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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