we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
