Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
