just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
