dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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