Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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