I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
