Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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