im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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