Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
