Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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