I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
