found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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