oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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