I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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